My cloud blanket

Poof! I jump under my blanket

Fluffy, white, and apricot

Like a cloud at sunset

Warm on my body

Cool on my mind

Poof! My troubles are lighter

Poof! I roll over; it's all around me

Wrapped in a cloud

Floating through dreams

I'm not (too) self-absorbed

When I first started this goal of doing something creative every day and posting the results, I was concerned that it was just a self-absorbed, self-indulgent thing to do. That's something you'll find out if you get to know me at all - I often analyze my own motives for doing things, and I analyze their impact on other people. Consequently, a lot of my sentences start with "I am/was concerned that ..."

This time, I was concerned that I was being self-absorbed and self-indulgent. It's still possible that I am (I don't think anyone is completely immune), but I've noticed something interesting as I remain committed to this goal. It makes me more interested in the projects other people are working on. If someone puts their new song up on the internet, I'm more likely to check it out now. I've been spending more time looking at the creative things my friends are doing. I've been reading more. Instead of becoming consumed by the next thing I'm going to put on display, I have instead begun looking beyond myself more. That was a pleasant surprise.

Energy

Everything is energy:
Size and shape
Power, complexity

My science fiction double standard

I've thought about this problem I've been having with my insecurities getting in the way of my writing science fiction, and I've realized that it's even more comical that I originally thought. At first I was just amused because insecurity is amusing; it's so unnecessary and counterproductive, but we all have it to some extent. The only way not to be crippled by it is to recognize it and laugh at it. Then I started thinking about Dune by Frank Herbert. When I was reading Dune I just accepted the fact that some quirk of Paul Atreides's genetic makeup combined with the drug spice gave him prescient abilities, and I moved on to enjoy the hell out of that book. On the other hand, if I were going to write that novel I would be trying to figure out what how Paul's body would take in the information of the universe needed to be prescient, what collection of biomolecules would process that information, and what role the spice would play in that process. And even if I figured out all those things, I would be bracing myself for some hole to present itself.

That's my initial approach, even though I don't expect that kind of detail from most of the things I read. Yay double standards!

Abandon

Shall I build a tower
A single block each day
So thin the slightest breath
Could blow it away?

Or shall I dance one time upon the stones
And gather my breath into a single song?
Shall I keep my body warm
Or fuel my fever until it ignites?

Science and science fiction (and insecurity)

My original plan for today was to play around with some ideas I have for a novel, but I got stuck. I would like for it to have some science fiction/fantasy elements in it, but I suddenly realized that I know a lot of people who are very knowledgeable about science who might very well be reading this. I started worrying about them making fun of me, and I locked up (which makes no sense, because they're all really nice people - that's why I communicate with them).

Now that I think about it, my insecurity is also the reason I hesitated to apply for grad school. I worried that I wouldn't have what it took. This is actually why I made it my goal to post something every day. There's no way I can possibly perfect something in a day, forcing me to get over my insecurity and just throw a little of myself out there. I haven't quite worked myself up to throwing my crazy imaginings out there, so today I'm throwing my insecurity out there instead. Enjoy!